


I'm slipping into the deep end

by UngarnMoc



Series: We could live like legends [2]
Category: Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love, Romance, mention of sex but that's all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 03:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16632275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UngarnMoc/pseuds/UngarnMoc
Summary: One can be strong to face dangerous and scary things, but facing ourselves takes the real courage.





	I'm slipping into the deep end

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again :)
> 
> So the romance train is on the move and here is the series second part :) God I am very tired, so just the usual things:
> 
> \- non-English writer  
> \- no beta reader  
> \- very-very tired writer who re-read the thing 2-3 times, but high chance she was unable to notice mistakes (more than normal)  
> \- hoping you will still like it, despite the things above xD

Lara panted in the cold air as she entered into the valley – another mission is done, she could return to have some rest now, just to head out again after and discover more secrets of the wilderness.

The truth is she wasn’t driven because of the excitement of new discoveries, to collect information, to solve riddles. The truth is she was hiding.

Lara rarely avoided problems in her life, she rather preferred to act than to sit and wait and see what happens. But this time was different.

Jacob’s request frightened her. _Jacob_ frightened her.

She halted in her walk and after a short thinking changed her course – preferred to be alone and have some time to think. Another tactic to avoid the meeting with him, she knew well.

As a fearless fighter, faced with monsters and men who wanted to kill her and even if she was afraid, she still did it, pushed forward. But when it was about her more personal life Lara wasn’t that brave.

Not to mention her love life. That basically non-existed.

It wasn’t a coincidence she had no-one. Had every reason why she was alone.

She could say that it was because of her unearthly adventures, but it wasn’t entirely true – was a loner before. Doesn’t mean Lara didn’t seek love or never had any partner before, but she felt like she had to play a part to be accepted by the other and when she was sick of that and showed her true nature it just didn’t work anymore. Was she too bossy? Or too much? Too smart ass? Kept too much distance? Lara didn’t know.

All she knew the romantic, ‘let’s walk in the moonlight at the beach’ wasn’t for her and seemed everybody wanted a sweet girl and some cuddling bonding time. That could be nice, but Lara wasn’t happy with only that. Her idea of bonding time meant participating adventures together and not a lot of guy loved to be lost in the middle of nowhere, tracking down a centuries old myths and risking his life. She wanted a partner, not a “strong man” in her life. She wanted someone who was her equal and just accepted her the way she was.

This man apparently avoided her so far, so Lara just gave up on the relationships and rather switched to sexual partners, whenever she needed it.

She wasn’t made of stone and was a healthy woman with healthy appetite – having sex wasn’t wrong and why she would need a ‘boyfriend’ for it? Lara knew men find her attractive and if she liked someone for a night and that someone also liked her for a night, then why not they cannot enjoy everything the other could give to them? It was different than knowing someone and have time to discover what he loved and showing him what she loved – she was a bit braver, more willing to try out new things. Doing it with a stranger whom she will never see again somehow made it easier. There were pros and cons of it.

But it wasn’t the same of actually feeling something more toward a person. More than just physical attraction. It was different than slowly wanting a person more and more, to be with him to spend her time with him, to get to know him better. There was a chance he will hurt her, like it happened before. She wasn’t a little girl anymore, had several brake ups. Sometimes she took it easy, sometimes not, because she really wanted it to work, but it didn’t. Sometimes she cried. And Lara never wanted to be hurt that way again. She thought she won’t be, well not that soon at least – her travels quite limited her time to meet with her future next ‘boyfriend’.

And then Jacob walked into her life and asked her to stay here.

Of course that should mean nothing to her. Like a man whom she didn’t even know ask her to stay at a place where he lived… she should say no right then and there. But until that point she could pretend he was nothing more just a short-lived ally, someone who didn’t want to kill her, but helped her only because their interests were meeting for a short while. She could ignore the forming warmness inside her, whenever Jacob was close and chased away any second thoughts about him. But with this offer she cannot deny that she wanted to say _yes_ to him.

She wanted to _try_. Wanted to give it a chance, more than ever before.

She stopped next to a ruined building – it was at the very edge of the village, the forest started to re-claim the territory already. A strange mixture of the sign of man and the wilderness. Leaned against the wall, feeling the cold stone under her back attached her back to the reality, but her problems were still there. Too much feelings, too much thoughts, just too much of everything, she wanted to scream! Covered her eyes with her hands silently cursed herself.

_‘Dammit, dammit, dammit!’_

She rather wandered around and face anything was coming at her – tombs, wild animals, Trinity soldiers, didn’t matter – than to face with her problems, doing everything she could to avoid the village and Jacob in it.

“I am such a coward.” she laughed bitterly.

“I never thought of you as a coward.”

Gasped a bit, her pulse quickened, ready to defend herself, already reaching for her knife – how the hell she couldn’t hear someone is coming? Damn personal problems! And then relaxed when she realized who it was – Jacob, already showing his hands, signing he was no threat.

No threat. Good joke.

Sighed, let her guard down, leaned back against the wall once again, letting her head fell against it as well, eyes closed. Suddenly she felt really-really tired.

“Please don’t do that again.”

He chuckled a bit, stepping closer – a bit too close maybe. Lara could smell his scent – leather, earth and musk. Somehow it reminded her at home. Weird, because her home didn’t smell like that at all -  almost felt his warmth. Refused to open her eyes, didn’t need to see him when she could already feel him.

“I didn’t see you around lately.” he stated simply.

“Hmm-mm…” Was he looking for her? “I was busy.”

“I heard about it. Tombs, soldiers…”

Finally looked at him and gave a gentle smile. “Just the usual things.”

It _was_ usual. That’s scary.

He smiled back, but it quickly faded, blue eyes turned to be more serious. Lara knew what topic will come up now and she didn’t want to talk about it. She just got back, was tired, dirty, even hungry damn and she didn’t even notice it yet. Had every reason to excuse herself and run away _again_. But it won’t be anything else just avoiding the topic if she does it. And Lara already hated herself for doing that – it wasn’t her style.

She still didn’t say anything. Silently looked at each other, waiting for the other to speak first, avoiding the task to do it themselves.

He gave in first. “You didn’t have the time to think about what I’ve said before I guess.”

There they go.

Lara felt tensing up a a bit as she turned her body toward him as well, looked up at his face. She had to do this and now.

“Jacob… we both know I cannot stay.”

The way he looked at her told her he was disagreeing. He couldn’t understand it. It wasn’t like she just could leave everything behind and fulfil his wish even when she is not even sure what is this between them. She couldn’t throw everything away for a silly crush.

And still the feeling of want was there again. Wanted to try. Give it a chance. Wanted to see if it works.

With him.

No, she really couldn’t… and shouldn’t do that.

Annoyed once again she pushed herself away from the fall, pacing a bit, feeling nervous. Jacob followed her movements silently, she could feel his intense stare on her skin.

“What do you even want from me?!” snapped at him suddenly. She needed to concentrate on her task ahead of her, on the Divine Source, not to this, not dealing with requests she cannot fulfil.

“I only want to know you better.” Riddles, no clear answers. Lara scoffed at him – no, that wasn’t entirely true and both of them knew it. She realized she wasn’t the only one who was confused or even afraid of some hidden parts of their souls.

“I cannot stay, because I don’t belong here!” Other tactic; tell the half-truth, because it was better than admit she was actually afraid of her own feelings. Was she afraid of her feelings or was afraid to give up everything she fought for? Give up Richard’s legacy? Maybe that scared her the most.

But Lara didn’t lie either, not really. She kind of liked being here, appreciated the simpler life and the slower pace, but staying? That was not for her. Didn’t feel like she could start to grow her roots here… or well, anywhere actually. Where she would settle down? When? With whom?

“Where do you belong then?” How he could find the simplest still most annoying questions to demand answers by keep pressing the topic?

“I don’t know!” her voice echoed between the trees as she answered a bit too aggressively, losing her temper for a second “Nowhere!”

The following silence was deafening. Jacob still stood at his place, not saying a word, Lara panted, feeling her pulse slowing down. Even if Lara was not in danger and stood in the open, still felt she was forced into a corner and hated it. Looked down to the frozen ground beneath her mumbled tiredly “Why are you doing this to me?”

He moved at that, walking peacefully closer to her, lifting her gaze up by her chin. She looked right into those gentle blue eyes full of warmness and damn him, damn all this, damn Trinity, they led her here. To him.

Or was it meant to happen?

“Maybe you just didn’t find the right place yet. You are definitely not lost and don’t need a guidance either, but God is my witness I’d follow you anywhere.”

She made a noise between a moan and sigh to that. Her journeys weren’t really look like a trip to Disneyland.

Who would want to follow her?

“Why would you do that?” whispered her question. He forced her to face with it and she was ready to know. Needed to know.

It seemed like her question made him to think a bit, debate about his answer. Then pulled her closer and gave her a very soft, gentle kiss on her lips.

It wasn’t anything serious, Lara exchanged her first kiss on her lips around her 12th years. It was silly, nothing serious, quick thing.

This definitely didn’t feel like that.

It felt like slowly slipping into the warm darkness and don’t mind anything else. It felt good, but also frightened her, letting everything out of her control and just _be,_ let the things turn out on their own and not trying to overwatch everything. Was that a bad thing? Loosing the control? Just let it finally happen, let everything fall into pieces and scatter away. Why not? That duvet was around her again and she knew she was unable let it go ever again. She fell and fell, but didn’t mind – it was a weightless falling, when she didn't needed to think or solve anything, when she could just finally _be_.

It was everything she needed: warm, gentle, careful, loving.

When he parted just a breath away from her, opened his mouth and gave her the simplest answer ever.

“Because I want to.”

**Author's Note:**

> So you are done with the second part, yay :D There is a chance I will re-read it some days later and add things to it. But I think it is good just for now.
> 
> Need to mention this work was highly inspired by Ruelle's song (just look at the title, that much xD) 'Deep End'. Seriously I am addicted to her now xD (Means I put the song on an endless loop and kept writing and writing and writing xD) 
> 
> Confess-time! :D They needed it. What more they need? You tell me :P :D


End file.
